This letter was written to a special friend on the sixteenth of March 2018. If you are reading this — thank you. Thank you for keeping our friendship alive despite the tides that try to wash it away. I appreciate you as a person and I wish you the best. You are loved.
To my dearest person,
You’re my best friend. I’m glad that we have gotten close over the past year. I’ve never really expected us to have reached this far because we are opposites in many ways as you had previously expressed. Somehow, our differences complimented one another despite everything that had happened.
I know that we’ve had a rough start – it wasn’t the best beginning for a new relationship. It wasn’t easy for me to deal with everyone against us, but I’ve tried to overcome the negativity because I knew that you’d be by my side. There are times that we have had so many problems and drama that it became too stressful for the both of us to handle. I thought that I was going to lose you and it started to kill me. I couldn’t sleep, eat or focus. I remember turning to God during that time. I felt hopeless, so I prayed. Initially, I wanted to become selfish – I wanted to tell Him to make you choose me. I didn’t pray for that because that would be immature. Love is suppose to be selfless, so I’ve asked Him to give you happiness instead.
No one knows our story better than we do because everyone else views the superficial tip of our iceberg. It’s frustrating when people believe that they know what is going on, but you’ve helped me ignore all their irrelevance.
You inspire me to become someone similar to you because you always put your family, patients, and God first. People trust you because you have a genuine heart with pure intentions. You’re a good person and you make me extremely happy. I really do mean it when I told you that I love you. I don’t say it often, but I feel it deep down.
I used to believe in “timing,” but I think that it’s necessary that we chase after the things that scare us because ultimately they’re “important.” There’s never gonna be a right timing for anything. It’s hard for me to leave home because it hurts me to hurt you. I don’t want to mix my emotions with any major life changes because I’m always having mood swings – what’s new? I don’t want to regret saying no this offer because I know that I will hate myself in the future. What if this opportunity doesn’t come again for me? What if this is my only shot? I try to love myself too and this decision is solely for my own personal/professional growth.
I’m scared because I don’t know what to expect when I move there. I won’t have a support system because my family will be here. My parents think I’m rushing this move, but honestly….if not now, when? I don’t want to wait for me to be “ready” because I don’t think I’ll ever be. I’m taking a risk in search for growth and I’m doing this as a favor for myself. I don’t know how this will end up, but I know God will be there by my side to guide me.
I wanted to believe that you’ll move somewhere near me sometime soon, so I had prepared myself too. I don’t want you to leave me here, so I decided to look for jobs somewhat near you – hence, Seattle. I tried to make schedules in my head on how we can see each other every other week just to make things work out, anyways it’s only a two hour plane ride away. I know that it’s selfish of me to ask you to come with me because you have your family in mind as well. I know that you would ideally choose to stay here since it is closer to your home. Who am I to give my input on what you should do with your life? I was never anything to begin with.
I wish that the circumstances would be easier for us, but we both know that it was never easy to begin with.
Choose what makes you happy — you deserve it even if you think otherwise.