The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on July 01, 2014. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org
Hi. How are you? Kind of awkward to be writing to yourself eh? Well it’s the 1st of July. I’m spending my last days of summer before senior year of college starts in Seattle. I’m in the room bumming it out because I have nothing better to do. I am drinking numerous glasses of water infused with strawberries and lemons in hope that it will aid in a miracle weight loss. Who knows?
Earlier, I cried my heart out. Again. You know the drill, _ _ _ ? You know, your ex-boyfriend that could have been the one but you were too young and always fucked things up? Well yeah, it’s because of him again. You tried to be casual over a conversation thru viber because you know you missed him. You always do even if you don’t want to believe it yourself.
I have a piece of advice to the future me. Suck it up. It sounds so hard to accomplish right now. but I know one day you will eventually suck things up, move on and finally let go. I know _ _ _ isn’t just any guy. You spent practically more than 3 years with him and that is a lot for someone young. You met him when you first became classmates at Letran and were together throughout more than halfway of your journey in college. But you know, all things must come to an end. Sadly, you ended it and regretted it like a little b*itch.
Suck it up. It’s your fault anyways. If you’re still sprung over _ _ _, you seriously have issues as a new 23 year old. And if things haven’t gotten any better, it’s been 3 years. Don’t let yourself waste your life away because of one guy. I know it’s your fault. You didn’t appreciate him when you had him, but we all make mistakes. We’re young, we f*ck things up, we regret and want it to be all better sooner or later but sometimes life can’t always give us what we want.
I hope you’ve taken care of yourself lately. I hope you graduated on time without any deficiencies I hope you cut down on the drinking, the smoking, and the spending. I hope you cut down on being so harsh on yourself.
You don’t always have to put the blame on yourself whenever something wrong comes along in life. It’s not always your fault. You can’t let one incident affect your whole life. It shouldn’t drag you forever into a constant mess. You’re better than that.
Why am I writing this? I didn’t know there was a website like this and I always planned on writing myself a letter but was too lazy and never really put in time to actually do so. Until I watched Starting All Over Again and found out there is a website like this. So this leads me to now….
You fucked things up with _ _ _. Like I said, it’s fine. But you can’t always go running back to him because he’s the most familiar thing you know in this world. We all know it’s over. _ _ _ does, your family does, his family does, all your friends and people who don’t even matter know it’s over. It’s your fault. You just wanted so much attention that you didn’t realize all the efforts _ _ _ did just to give you what you wanted. But here I am being so harsh on myself..
But honestly, give it a break. If _ _ _ really is “the one,” eventually he’ll come back. Eventually you’ll get back together and get married. But that’s if destiny allows him to become “the one.” If not, you shouldn’t be lingering on for more. There are a billion people in this world. And I know there is somewhere out there that would love you unconditionally, the way you wanted to without any limitations.
You were really young. You had started your relationship with _ _ _ when you were only 15 years old. What the hell do 15 year olds know about love and commitment anyways? You were foolish, naive, stupid and just didn’t know how to balance everything in life.
I hope you have grown into a mature women. Slowly, but surely you will. I hope you’re a registered nurse in the states working at a hospital and helping to support your family OR in medical school. I just hope you do things for you and be a little selfish because you do deserve it. The years you had with _ _ _ were really selfish though. But you can never take that back, even money can’t buy the time wasted.
I hope you learn to have a longer period of patience and learn how to cook. I hope you learn to become independent without depending on so much people.
If there’s ever a guy out there for you, I hope he treats you right and I hope you treat him right as well. Give love back. But before you start into any serious relationship, I hope you start learning to love yourself.
You deserve it. Don’t forget that.
* Received on May 3, 2017 at 22:04